The first problem was that the race didn't start until 10:15am and it was already TOO hot by that time {the high for today was 90}. Then we ran on the asphalt in the parking lot and it was in full sun almost the entire time, we didn't have shade and they only had one water station at about 1.5 miles. It was a recipe for disaster for me.....BUT I didn't let myself fall apart this time. I had Jason take some pictures of me at the start line. I love you mamma, I am ready to do this for you!!
We started running and almost immediately I felt the emotions coming on, I was almost in tears and I knew that I couldn't run the race while I was crying. I knew mamma was running with me but I knew I had to hold it together, from the very beginning I could tell that I was running the fastest time I had ever run. I got to the 1 mile mark and my time was 10:54, which is WAY too fast for me. I tried to slow down a little and relax, I wasn't sure I could keep it together for 2.2 more miles if I gave it everything the first mile. There were several more times that I felt very emotional, and could barely keep it together. I knew that mamma was with me, I knew that she was holding me up and running along side me.
I got to mile 2.5 and I was about DONE, I could barely keep putting one foot in front of the other, I slowed down a little and thought about walking, but I was NOT walking with only three quarters of a mile left. I kept running and I kept running. I begged mamma to carry me, to hold me up and to push me to the end, and she did. She was with me. I know it!
I crossed the finish line at 36:16 - an average of 11:20 miles, the fastest I have EVER run!!
And I really was this excited! I was so glad I was DONE, and I knew I had run the race of my life. I knew that I had beat my previous times and I knew that mamma was so proud....but I was DONE, physically and emotionally. I immediately got a bottle of water and poured it over my head, I was WAY too hot and I knew I needed to get cooled down or I was going to be sick. I walked around a little and tried to get cool, but I couldn't cool off. Jason finally took me over to the grass to lay down and stretch and try to cool off some. I immediately started sobbing. I was so overcome with emotion, I could feel mamma with me, I knew she was there, but I missed her so much. A year ago I didn't even know what ovarian cancer was, a year ago I had no idea teal was the color of ovarian cancer, a year ago I didn't know how much my life was going to change. I sobbed for everything I've lost, for everything I've learned, for my angel mamma and for all those who have been touched by ovarian cancer.
I finally got up and tried to leave. I was dizzy, light-headed and way too hot. I was trying to leave, but I just couldn't. We found another shady spot and I sat down again to try to cool down. I finally felt like I was able to leave. I was still way too hot, but I was also done. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Done!
We left and Jason bought me lunch and we ran a few errands and then came home and worked on packing and cleaning a little....but even as I write this, I am still way too hot!! {But I would still do it all again!}
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| I got these cool teal laces for raising over $300 |
I love you mamma!! I miss you every minute of everyday, but I am finally moving forward. I am finding happiness. I am making changes and choosing me. I am trying to make you proud, and I know that you are! I love you more!
