You can't make this stuff up.....

And just hours after the funeral was over, we got a phone call from the Dominican Republic that Skylar McDonald is having hernia surgery at 8am tomorrow morning. (Nope, I am not kidding). 

I could not sleep that night. I was so anxious for him. I posted this on Facebook: 

"My heart is constantly heavy. I've been up thinking and praying for this amazing brother of mine who should be having surgery right now in the Dominican Republic. Because God is aware, and we are never alone, it is no coincidence that my dad's neighbors are serving right now as medical missionaries over the entire Caribbean islands and they will be with him this morning. You know that if we could, every one of us would be there with him.I'm grateful to know that his mom is watching over him, but dang it, he shouldn't have to be having surgery in a foreign place without his family surrounding him to help him through it. I have no doubt his mission mom and the Olsen's will take good care of him. God is aware of us, and he won't leave us to do this alone."

I got up early and went up to the cemetery and laid on my mamma's headstone and sobbed and cried for 2 hours. I missed her so much. I was hurting and in pain and I didn't know how much more stress and heartbreak I could handle. My heart was breaking for my brother, for his 4 kids. For Brett and Heather and the loss of their baby, for Skylar alone in the DR, for my dad who had to deal with so much stress and heartache, for my sister who is struggling with her ridiculous ex. For my own son who is struggling with his father and his faith. For my own loneliness and pain of being divorced and my marriage not working out. For all the trials and sorrows we've been through in the last 2 years. My heart was overflowing and I just couldn't stop the tears. I didn't even try. I just sobbed and cried. 

I know my mamma was with me. I know she was holding me. I know that she is close. I know that God is aware of me, of our family, or our struggles, of our faith. I know that he does not give us more than we can handle WITH HIM and HIS SON. I know that I have grown and been strengthened in the last two years in ways that I would have never been strengthened without these trials. I know that God loves me and that he has a plan for me. I KNOW that I will see my mamma again. I know that the Plan of Salvation is real and that we will be Together Forever as a family. 

But right now, this earth life feels REALLY, really hard!!