I had only been home a couple of weeks when Ryan called me and asked if I would be willing to come back to Utah to take his ENGAGEMENT pictures sometime before the end of the year. UHM, SURE!!! I would LOVE to!! I was lucky enough that we were able to plan it the same weekend as Brookie's Baptism. I flew into SLC late on Friday night and left on Sunday, it was a quick trip, but it was so fun to be able to capture Ryan and Jamie and their kids, go to Brooklyn's baptism and see my family for a quick weekend!!
Look at this beautiful girl!!
After the baptism we went to SLC to take Ryan and Jamie's pictures, it was a challenge with all the kids, but we had a great time and got some great pictures!! Here are just a couple of my favorites!!
I am so grateful I was able to make it work to go out for a quick weekend and take their photos. I'm so grateful for my amazing family and for the bond we all share!! After we took all the pictures, we went to the cemetery for a few minutes, and then went to Mi Ranchito {yum!}
After church on Sunday, Ryan took me back to the airport, I wanted to stop and surprise Joanna and give her a little Christmas ornament. I talked to her kids and they made sure she would be home. The surprised look on her face was totally worth it. I LOVED surprising her, and I LOVE her sweet encouraging love for me all the time.
And just hours after the funeral was over, we got a phone call from the Dominican Republic that Skylar McDonald is having hernia surgery at 8am tomorrow morning. (Nope, I am not kidding).
I could not sleep that night. I was so anxious for him. I posted this on Facebook:
"My heart is constantly heavy. I've been up thinking and praying for this amazing brother of mine who should be having surgery right now in the Dominican Republic. Because God is aware, and we are never alone, it is no coincidence that my dad's neighbors are serving right now as medical missionaries over the entire Caribbean islands and they will be with him this morning. You know that if we could, every one of us would be there with him.I'm grateful to know that his mom is watching over him, but dang it, he shouldn't have to be having surgery in a foreign place without his family surrounding him to help him through it. I have no doubt his mission mom and the Olsen's will take good care of him. God is aware of us, and he won't leave us to do this alone."
I got up early and went up to the cemetery and laid on my mamma's headstone and sobbed and cried for 2 hours. I missed her so much. I was hurting and in pain and I didn't know how much more stress and heartbreak I could handle. My heart was breaking for my brother, for his 4 kids. For Brett and Heather and the loss of their baby, for Skylar alone in the DR, for my dad who had to deal with so much stress and heartache, for my sister who is struggling with her ridiculous ex. For my own son who is struggling with his father and his faith. For my own loneliness and pain of being divorced and my marriage not working out. For all the trials and sorrows we've been through in the last 2 years. My heart was overflowing and I just couldn't stop the tears. I didn't even try. I just sobbed and cried.
I know my mamma was with me. I know she was holding me. I know that she is close. I know that God is aware of me, of our family, or our struggles, of our faith. I know that he does not give us more than we can handle WITH HIM and HIS SON. I know that I have grown and been strengthened in the last two years in ways that I would have never been strengthened without these trials. I know that God loves me and that he has a plan for me. I KNOW that I will see my mamma again. I know that the Plan of Salvation is real and that we will be Together Forever as a family.
But right now, this earth life feels REALLY, really hard!!
I don't know how we made it through the last week. I don't know how it's possible that it's only been a week. It feels like it's been at least 6 months.
Monday, May 29th, dad called to tell us that Jennifer had passed away. We still don't even know exactly what happened, but we find comfort in the plan of salvation and eternal life.
Tuesday afternoon we got a text from Brett and Heather that they had lost their baby at 19 weeks pregnant. They were going to have to wait to do a DandC, but about an hour later her water broke and they headed to the hospital. She pushed one time and the baby was born. Another little boy. They named him Bronson Theodore McDonald. After the delivery, the placenta and afterbirth did not deliver, so she had to have surgery to remove it and she lost a lot of blood so they kept her overnight to make sure she was ok.
I got Brett's text while I was at work on Tuesday and I was SO ANGRY. I burst into tears and started getting so mad, How could God expect so much of our family? How could he ask us to do more? How could he take Jennifer from Ryan and the kids and now Brett and Heather's baby in the same 24 hours? What did he expect from us? Our mom just died 18 months ago? I just got divorced a year ago. What was he thinking? Did he honestly think that we could handle everything He was asking us to do? Why? Seriously? Haven't we been through enough? Isn't one death this week enough for our family? My boss lovingly put his arm around me and said, "let's go home for today" and I left.
I was pretty angry driving home. I called a friend who talked me through it. I pulled into my driveway and I hadn't been sitting there more than a minute when the Elders walked by. Why were they here? I don't see them very often in my neighborhood. I got out of the car and walked toward my house. They were at my front door. They had come for me. I walked up to them and I said "Elders, I know that God sent you here at this exact moment because I need you to give me a blessing." I proceeded to spew out EVERYTHING that's happened in the last 2 years of my life through sobbing tears. (I'm sure they thought I was a crazy lady, and I'm pretty sure I'll be in some mission homecoming talk about listening to promptings or dealing with crazy people).
And then they gave me the most beautiful blessing and I felt such peace and comfort. I KNOW that God sent them to me RIGHT THEN because I needed to know that he knew me. I needed to know that he has not left us alone to deal with all of these HARD trials. I needed to feel his love personally and individually. He is walking with me. He is carrying me. He has provided a way, a Savior for me.
Thank you Elders for listening. Thank you for being obedient. You were God's hands today and you delivered a message of hope, of peace, and of love. Even in the middle of our darkest trials, there are tender mercies all around us. I am so grateful for mine today! #godisaware #helovesus #lifeishard #tendermercies #everythingishard #deathishard #griefishard #lifeisfragile
Friday morning I got up early to head to Utah. I still could not believe that I was going to Utah for another Funeral. It's surreal.
I got to Utah and spent a few minutes with Ryan and his kids before we had to go to the Mortuary. Dang it, look at these cute faces. My heart is breaking for them.
They we met as a family at the mortuary. Ryan and dad decided to go in first so that Ryan could have some time with her. They were gone for a very long time and I'm sure it was so hard for them both. Then the rest of us went in to see her body and to spend some time together. It was a special sacred time. I've learned that this time while funerals are being planned and their body is being prepared is a very sacred and special time. The veil is very thin and angels are close. It is humbling to be a part of.
Ryan decided on a casket that was black and you could write on it with sharpie markers. It was very therapeutic for all of us. It was just what we needed to be able to write messages to her, the kids needed to draw her pictures, they needed to feel a connection. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen and I totally want one at my funeral. {so everyone remember!!}
Haylee took this picture of me and Kylee. It breaks my heart and gives me chills all at the same time. I pulled sweet Kylee towards me and told her that I KNEW exactly how she felt. I too have stood looking into the casket of my sweet mamma. I know it's one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm much older than she is....I can't imagine losing my mom at such a young age. But, one of the most important lessons I have learned the last two years is that we are placed in each other's lives for a reason. We have challenges and struggles and trials so that we can help others through theirs, and they can help us through ours. Kylee, your mamma loves you. She will be with you, she will watch over you. She will be there on the most important days of your life. You will feel her. You will see her hand in your life. She will never leave you.This I know, because my mamma is always with me.
After the mortuary, Heather and I took all the older granddaughters to get their nails done. {Thank you Grandpa!} It was so fun to go to mamma's nail place and to spend a few minutes together doing something besides planning for a funeral and thinking of how Ryan is going to move forward.
The next day was the funeral. I got up early to curl all the girls hair and get all of the kids ready. They looked so cute in their new clothes with their flowers in their hair.
Lots of friends and family came to support Ryan and the kids. It was so beautiful to see all of the love poured out on them. These are the flowers that the siblings sent Ryan and the kids. They are beautiful.
The funeral was beautiful. The service was perfect. The speakers were just right and the music was perfect for Jennifer. It was amazing how it was so different than mom's and yet so perfect for Jen. On the way to the cemetery, the hearse went through the Quick Quack Car Wash. Jennifer worked for them and it was the perfect tribute to her. She would have LOVED it!!! I'm sure she was there watching over us as we cheered and smiled at the love of those she worked for.
When we pulled into the cemetery, the Quick Quack float was sitting out front. Jennifer hadn't seen it yet, but it was a perfect welcome for her when we got to the cemetery. Once again, she would have LOVED it.
This is Matt, the director of Utah Valley Mortuary and he was AMAZING!!!! Very highly recommend them if you ever need their services. Thank you Matt!!
It is so humbling to see my brothers once again standing over a casket. It is hard to understand why we have been asked to do this again. They all have so much strength and are such a support to each other. I love them so much.
The cemetery did a dove release, which was SO cool. They released 33 doves for Jennifer. She would have loved to see it. Then we did a balloon release. Oh Jen, how are you really gone?
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the cemetery. The casket looked so cool with love written all over it.
Oh how much I love you and don't understand why you have to go through this. Hang in there, God has a plan for you and your children. I don't just think this, I KNOW this. I am constantly praying for you and the kids.
The McDonald Family! What a team!! One that I am very grateful to be on.
Love this picture that Erin captured of me. Thanks Erin.
And then we went to the church for dinner and Sodalicious was there was one more reminder of sweet Jennifer! Thank you!!
My dad called me about 8:30am on Memorial Day, it was Monday morning, May 29th and I was still asleep. It was one of my only days off and I didn't even set an alarm. I didn't get the phone the first time because I was half asleep, so he called me a few minutes later and I picked it up. I was still half asleep, until he said "I'm calling to tell you that Jennifer passed away this morning". I don't even remember what I said or how I reacted. I know for sure I was in complete shock. He told me he was still at Ryan's house dealing with the police and asked me to call all my siblings. I called them all and none of them answered the first time. So I started again, and got Brett and then Amber. I couldn't get Jeff or Scott. I finally got Christie, and between her and Brett they finally got his boss and work and they got in touch with him. (He was training someone and couldn't be on his phone). Amber finally got in touch with Scott and within a few hours all of the other kids were at Ryan's house. All of us were just in shock.
I felt completely lost. I am the only one who doesn't live there and I just felt in a complete daze. I wanted to be in Utah with my family, but I knew I couldn't leave until the end of the week. I tried to focus on what needed to get done before then. I'm grateful that they all sat down and made a list of everything that needed to get done. They assigned me to write the obituary, make the program and get the slide show together. I didn't even know where to start, but I just took one day at a time. I started with contacting her family to get some information for the obituary. I prayed A LOT and asked her many times what she wanted me to write. I knew that I could do it, but I also knew that I needed heaven's help.
I was struggling to find a picture. all we could find were selfies and I wasn't sure that we should use a selfie for her obituary, but Ryan loved this picture and we decided that it fit her personality perfectly.
It turned out beautiful. She definitely helped me know what to say. Here is her obituary:
Jennifer Lynn Dillon McDonald, 33, passed from this mortal existence, Monday, May 29, 2017. Her sudden and unexpected death has left us all searching for answers. Jennifer was born February 29, 1984 in Danville Virginia to Peggy Jane Dillon and William Demott. She grew up in Danville and attended Forest Hills Elementary School. She was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ when she was 13 years old and has always had a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
She grew up watching her father cook in his restaurant and loved to cook up a good southern meal anytime she could. She attended George Washington High School, but transferred to Morehead High School in Eden, North Carolina where she graduated in 2002. A few weeks after graduation, she boarded a train bound for Utah on a grand adventure to be with the Mormons. When Jen arrived in Provo, Utah she got a ride to her apartment and sat down and cried, “What have I done?” and then she got up and walked to the Dollar Store and got a job on the spot. She then walked down the street to Macey’s and applied for a job in the Deli and they hired her on the spot. She took the job at Macey’s and she loved working there. Jennifer was going to make things happen in her life, she never stood around and waited, she went after everything she wanted, including her future spouse. Jennifer met Ryan McDonald in April of 2004, at the gas station where he was working, and they were engaged 3 days later. They were sealed for time and all eternity in the Mount Timpanogos Temple on August 5, 2004.
Her work at Macey’s wasn’t challenging enough, so her early career took her next to being a sales rep for Advantage Sales and Marketing, working with the Pepsico Brands.. Jen became the number one salesperson in the country and was offered a higher position in Texas, but she turned them down because she didn’t want to make Ryan leave Utah, this eventually led her to being offered a supervisor job in the Oakland California area. They were always supportive of each other in their career goals and in October 2006, Ryan, Jen and Kylee moved to Sacramento where they made many lifelong friends. She would eventually quit Pepsico, and begin working with Unified Grocers. Soon she wanted to be able to work from home, and care for her growing family. Ryan Jr. (Buddy), Savannah (Savvy) and Nash joined their family during the time they lived in California. She began working in social media, which let her to Pizza Guys and Quick Quack in Sacramento, this involved a lot of promotional events with the Sacramento Kings and she loved all of the experiences she had while they lived in California.
Following the loss of her mother-in-law in Nov 2015, their family decided to move back to Utah to be closer to family. In April 2016, Jennifer’s mother also passed away and during that same time, their little family made their way back to Orem, Utah, which is where they now reside. Needing a job, she applied and was hired to be the PR manager for Quick Quack Car Wash and was very involved with the opening of new car washes here in Utah. Jen’s zest for life was profound in her employment and being a mother to her children.
Jennifer was the life of the party and made everyone in the room feel included and loved. She lived life to the fullest, having no regrets and marched to the beat of her own drum. She radiated joy with a bit of southern spunk, told hilarious stories, and could make friends with everyone. She was a profound influence in her community; she was one of the brightest and most accepting, yet curious lights. She was caring and one of the most generous people you would ever know. She was one of a kind, with a heart of gold. Jennifer was a wonderful mother, planning elaborate parties for every occasion. She loved fiercely and we have no idea how we are going to go on without her crazy, southern self in our lives.
She is survived by her husband, Ryan; children Kylee, Ryan Jr. (Buddy), Savannah (Savvy), and Nash. She is also survived by her siblings; Billy (Ellen) Demott, Ray (Paula) Demott, John Demott, Kitty (Rodger) Minter, Randy Demott, Lucille (Bob) Clarke, Barbara (Johnnie) Brown, Geraldine Dillon, Matthew Dillon, Steven (Lisa) Dillon, Shirley Roberts, Mary (Daryl) Groce. She also leaves behind many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, brother and sister-in-laws, and friends. She was preceded in death by her father William Demott, her mother Peggy Dillon, and her sister Hazel Grogan.
Funeral Services will be held Saturday, June 3rd, at 11:00 am, at the Park 6th Ward, 195 West 300 South, Orem, Utah, where a Viewing will be held prior to services from 9:00 to 10:30 am. Interment in Mapleton Cemetery, 620 West Maple Street, Mapleton, Utah.
Funeral Directors: Utah Valley Mortuary.
Then I started working on the program. Luckily Dad and Ryan had worked out all the details and had asked all the people who he wanted to participate. I was stressing out on Wednesday night. It was almost midnight at my house, I was working on the program, but I had lost the first copy of the whole inside and had to start over. I was tired. I was emotionally drained. I was on the verge of losing it. I had just been talking to Ryan on the phone trying to work out some details and I didn't know how in the world I was ever going to get a slide show put together. Thursday morning I had a training to to go for work. Thursday night was Tanner's choir concert {part of the reason I had stayed home until this weekend} and I had an early morning flight on Friday morning. I wasn't sure how in the world I was ever going to get the slide show put together. I hadn't even asked for help, when Ryan's friend Chris called me from California. He was wondering if we had put a slide show together and if he could help. UHM, YES!!! I told him he was like manna from heaven and an answer to my prayers. I spent 15 minutes sending him the pictures that Kristi {Jen's best friend} had gathered for me and the music and he did the ENTIRE slide show. It was such a huge blessing for me, and I have no idea how I would have done it without his help. Thank you so much Chris!!!
Here is a copy of the program, once again, it turned out beautiful.
Here are the memorial videos that Chris put together, they are perfect. Thank you Chris from the bottom of my heart.
I love you Jen. I can't believe you are gone. I miss your spunk and southern drawl. Until we meet Again!
