IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN || TWO YEARS LATER

If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be where I am today I would NEVER have believed you. Two years ago we were sitting by my mom's side knowing that any day, any moment could be her last, watching her slip away from us, knowing that there was nothing we could do to keep her here and that we had precious little time left with her. Two years ago I was heart-broken and I didn't believe that I was ever going to be able to move forward without my mom. Two years ago my marriage was falling apart, but I was so heartbroken over losing my mother, that I couldn't do anything about it. Two years ago, I was broken. I was afraid and alone. Two years ago, my life was shattered in pieces and I had no idea how to put it back together.

The last two years have not been easy. There have been many, many tears. There has been anger and pain. There has been laughter and joy. There has been heartbreak and heartache. There has been hope and healing.

And today?

Today I am not only living, I am living my best life, I am happy and I find joy in everyday. I have found a passion and a purpose. I have found ME. I'm not sure I can explain how much this means to me and how much it has changed my life and my view of those around me. I'm not sure I can explain my why, the reason why I believe photos are SO important and why I pour my heart and soul into every session. 

Six months ago I decided that I needed something in my life that brought me joy. I wanted something more. I needed to do something different. The last year and a half had been brutal and I needed something that made me feel like I was giving back, something that made me smile. If you have known me very long, you know that I am passionate about photos, documenting and story telling. I have bookcases full of scrapbooks from the last 20 years of my life. I have pictures of EVERYTHING. Just ask Tanner! 

I decided to put all of my faith in myself, and stop being afraid to fail and I invested in photography classes from Amy & Jordan Demos. I watched every lesson and I did EVERYTHING they told me to do, I learned how to shoot, and edit, I learned how to pose, I learned how to run a business and how to be successful. Then, I practiced and I prayed. Oh, how I prayed. I prayed that I would be good enough, that I would have someone who would want me to take their pictures. I prayed that I would be able to JUST cover the costs of the classes with new clients. I prayed again that I wouldn't fail. 

Today I've updated my BLOG, my WEBSITE and my FACEBOOK with a new logo, a new design and ALL new pictures that I've taken in the last 6 months. Not only did I cover all of the cost of the classes, but I've more than tripled the amount the classes cost.  I was able to take Tanner to see Les Miserables, I was able to go home to Utah, I was able to pay off some debt. I am SO DANG PROUD of where I am today!!!! I am SO DANG PROUD of the work that I am producing now. I am confident that I AM good enough. I am confident that I know what to do to get the kind of images I want to get, EVERY TIME!!

In addition to the classes, I have gained an entire community of photographers around the world who cheer for each other. Who help each other, who answer questions and give guidance. I have made so many new friends and have received so much love and guidance from this whole new community. I didn't expect this when I signed up for some online photography classes. {they are SO MUCH MORE than just classes!!}

I didn't expect this to change my life so much. I didn't expect to find so much Joy and feel so fulfilled. 

This was taken by my new AJ Friend Emily Broadbent

I sit here tonight with tears streaming down my face in gratitude to a loving Father in Heaven who NEVER gives up on me even when I don't have enough faith in myself. He directs my life every day. I KNOW that He guided and directed me to those classes. I know that it was exactly what I needed RIGHT NOW in my life. I know that he is aware of me and my needs. I know that he provides for me and that he will NEVER leave me to figure it out on my own. I know that I can trust Him, because he is the same today, yesterday and forever. 

I can't help but think that my angel mamma is up in heaven CHEERING with me tonight. I feel her with me often, but tonight I wish I could call her and hear her tell me that she knew I could do it, that she always believed in me. I wish I could show her how far I've come. {I'm sure she already knows}. I feel her guidance. I feel her love. I know that she is watching over me always, but I am so grateful that I have felt her so close as I have taken this huge step in my life. 

I love you mamma. I miss you every minute of every day. I don't know how I've lived 2 whole years without you, but I have. I've made it and even though I can't see you, I can feel you in my life and I know that you are so proud of all the hard work I've been doing to learn and to grow. 

I love you more!!

IF YOU GOT THIS FAR: In my mamma's honor, I'm giving away a FAMILY PHOTO SESSION {$295} VALUE, go to my Pinned Post HERE to find out all the details!!

FALL MINI SESSIONS

MY PHOTO BUSINESS - LIBERTY CAMERON PHOTOGRAPHY

I've been taking some photography classes and I have grown so much in the last few weeks in my photography. I want to try to make it into something more than just a few pictures here and there, and get really good at it, so I organized ALL of my pictures, got them all backed up online, got a website up and running, updated my blog, started a Facebook Photography Page and got business cards.  I am so excited to see where this journey will take me. I am excited to have more opportunities to capture precious moments for everyone.

The events of the last two years have really changed how I feel about life and photos in general. I know that it seems like they are just fluff, like photos don't matter. I get it, getting a family all ready and meeting a photographer and paying and praying that everyone cooperates and that you get ONE good picture is a LOT of work. But one day you will leave this world, or you lose a child, or a parent or your sister-in-law, and suddenly you realize how much you wish you had some photos of them to remember what they looked like, what their smile looked like and you would LOVE to just have something tangible to hold onto during your grief.

Photos are my passion. Capturing your family in their element, with genuine smiles is my challenge and I am learning how to make that happen. If you are interested, my photography website is

LIBERTY CAMERON PHOTOGRAPHY

My Photography blog is:

LC PHOTOGRAPHY BLOG

My Facebook Page is:

LC PHOTOGRAPHY FACEBOOK PAGE

Here are just a couple of my favorites from the last few sessions:

THE BRACELET

I want to tell you a story. A story about grace, forgiveness, love and a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. A Story about listening to the holy ghost. Several weeks before mother's day, I had the impression that I should send a gift to my sister and my sister-in-laws for mother's day. We've all had a hard few years and I felt like I needed to so something special. I've never sent gifts to them before, but this seemed important.

Jennifer and I hadn't talked to each other for several months. You see, back last fall we got into it with each other. We were both grieving the loss of our mothers. She was living in my mom's house. We are both type A personalities and wanted to be in charge. It was a storm destined to happen.

BUT, the impression would not leave me. So, I ordered a bracelet for each of them, with their kids birthstones, and angel wings for those we have lost. I sent them all on the same day. The day they arrived one of my sister-in-laws posted about receiving hers and Jennifer saw the post and knew that she wouldn't be getting one from me. But, later that day, she opened her mailbox to find that I had sent her one. She emailed me immediately, and told me that she burst into tears when she opened it. After a few emails back and forth, we were able to agree that we would start over. I never got to talk to her again after those few emails.

The morning my dad called to tell me that she had passes away, I KNEW immediately that what I thought was just a bracelet, was a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father who knew that Jennifer was going to be leaving us and knew that I needed to make things right.

During her funeral, I physically felt her sit down next to me and tell me that she had forgiven me, that we were "cool with each other" and that my brother Ryan needed me to be a part of his life. That's just the way she was. All was forgiven.

My plea to you is this, forgive those who you are struggling with. Let go of the past. Move forward with love. Don't let it take a death or sickness to let go of the pain. Time on earth is short. We never know how many days we have left. Live each day with love and gratitude. Don't let hate and anger ruin those relationships that should be most important.

I love my family, we've been through hell and back and I don't know what I would do without them all. Love is always the answer.

GRADUATION 2017

And then, after one of the most emotional and trying weeks I've had, it was GRADUATION for my sweet boy. I put all of the other stress and pain aside and celebrated HIM! I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments!! He had the best year, his report card was the best it's been since Freshman Year. He is happy and full of life. He still complained about going to school, but he went and he did what he needed to do. I'm SO PROUD of him!!

A few hours before the ceremony, they moved us inside because of the threat of thunderstorms and a huge storm. It was SO hot outside and it was probably better that we were inside in the AC.

The madrigal choir sang the Stars Spangled Banner and it was AWESOME!! I wish I had recorded it!

The A Capella Choir sang Depart in Peace and the Alma Mater, they were both great also!

There was one speaker. The district had one speaker. And then the graduates walked....over 600 of them in about 30 minutes. The entire ceremony was 1 hour and 15 minutes. It was PERFECT!!

And just like that, we have a GRADUATE!!!

Tanner and Shannon

And then I turned around and saw the most beautiful Angel Rays shining from heaven. Oh mamma, you were here with me. You were at graduation and you were with me while I celebrated my boy. I know dad wanted to come so bad. I just felt like after everything that had happened that Ryan needed him  more than I did this weekend. I'm so grateful that you were with me.

I took Shannon and Tanner to Olive Garden for dinner and dessert to celebrate! And then I came home to get ready for his party.

The next day was his party. I spent all day getting ready and decorating. He had such a good turn out. SO many friends came to congratulate him. Bill and Karri even drove from Pennsylvania to celebrate with him. It was a wonderful day to celebrate his accomplishments!!

I love you bud, I am so proud of you.

Benjamin, Stephen and Tanner

After the party, Stephen took Tanner and Shannon to dinner and Bill and Karri and I went to Portillos.... you can't come to Chicago and not have a Chicago dog! Right Bill?

I LOVE you for coming to celebrate my boy. I love that you would jump in your car and come be with us. I love that I felt like a little piece of mamma was with me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

How is Senior Year Over???

I can't believe we are at Graduation already....Senior Year went WAY too fast!!

Below is Tanner as a Freshman and a Senior singing the same song....also his last solo as a Senior.

Love this boy of mine so much!!

For the Longest Time Freshman Year

For the Longest Time Senior Version

Heathens - 21 Pilots - DGS Madrigal Night

You can't make this stuff up.....

And just hours after the funeral was over, we got a phone call from the Dominican Republic that Skylar McDonald is having hernia surgery at 8am tomorrow morning. (Nope, I am not kidding). 

I could not sleep that night. I was so anxious for him. I posted this on Facebook: 

"My heart is constantly heavy. I've been up thinking and praying for this amazing brother of mine who should be having surgery right now in the Dominican Republic. Because God is aware, and we are never alone, it is no coincidence that my dad's neighbors are serving right now as medical missionaries over the entire Caribbean islands and they will be with him this morning. You know that if we could, every one of us would be there with him.I'm grateful to know that his mom is watching over him, but dang it, he shouldn't have to be having surgery in a foreign place without his family surrounding him to help him through it. I have no doubt his mission mom and the Olsen's will take good care of him. God is aware of us, and he won't leave us to do this alone."

I got up early and went up to the cemetery and laid on my mamma's headstone and sobbed and cried for 2 hours. I missed her so much. I was hurting and in pain and I didn't know how much more stress and heartbreak I could handle. My heart was breaking for my brother, for his 4 kids. For Brett and Heather and the loss of their baby, for Skylar alone in the DR, for my dad who had to deal with so much stress and heartache, for my sister who is struggling with her ridiculous ex. For my own son who is struggling with his father and his faith. For my own loneliness and pain of being divorced and my marriage not working out. For all the trials and sorrows we've been through in the last 2 years. My heart was overflowing and I just couldn't stop the tears. I didn't even try. I just sobbed and cried. 

I know my mamma was with me. I know she was holding me. I know that she is close. I know that God is aware of me, of our family, or our struggles, of our faith. I know that he does not give us more than we can handle WITH HIM and HIS SON. I know that I have grown and been strengthened in the last two years in ways that I would have never been strengthened without these trials. I know that God loves me and that he has a plan for me. I KNOW that I will see my mamma again. I know that the Plan of Salvation is real and that we will be Together Forever as a family. 

But right now, this earth life feels REALLY, really hard!!