2 months!

How has it possibly been two  months? How has it only been two months? How did 2 months go by already? How many more months am I going to have to live without you? I was having a hard day and really, really wanted to release some balloons tonight. It was getting dark, Jason was stuck in traffic, I was getting antsy. Tanner didn't want to do it. I was feeling lost and broken and was very close to losing it....but I held it together. I went out and took pictures of myself with the balloons before Jason got home and then we quickly released them the minute he walked through the door. I miss you mamma. I miss you every minute of every day. I hear you and feel you all the time, I'm trying every day to do what I need to do. I love you and I hope that I can make you proud. I love you more!!

I went and got a big Dr. Pepper for you today! I thought of you with every sip. I miss you so much and there are times when I can hardly imagine going the rest of my life on earth without  you, but then I think of you not being in pain and not having to fight everyday to live and I am so grateful that you are free from the pain of this horrible disease. I am so grateful it went fast and you didn't have to suffer for months and years more. I miss you, but I know that I will see you again and I can't wait to be reunited in heaven! I love you mamma!!