What is JOY? How do I find it?

Several years ago I was really struggling with JOY. I felt like it was one of those things I was never going to truly feel. I felt like it was what you got after you had figured everything out, after all of your trials went away, after you didn't have to suffer and struggle every day. I felt like I was never HAPPY and like JOY was something I was never going to find.

Then my life fell apart. All in the span of 2 years.

My son was diagnosed with severe depression and left the church. My mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. My husband lost his job. My mom passed away. My husband told me he wanted a divorce. My son wanted to live with him. I live alone. Without my mom to talk to. Without my son to take care of all the time. Without a spouse to love and support me. With only my Savior to guide my way.

AND, for the first time in my life. I have found JOY! Real. Authentic JOY!!!

How? How is that possible?

Because I have found comfort and rest in the arms of my Savior.

That doesn't mean that I am HAPPY all the time! It doesn't mean that I don't get depressed, sad, lonely and discouraged. It does mean that I know where my JOY comes from and that I know that as long as I am following God's plan for me and living his commandments, he is bound....and I will be blessed. He knows me, I am his daughter and I am wrapped in his arms of safety and peace.

I had to speak in Sacrament Meeting {see mormon.org for more information} a few weeks ago and it was such a cathartic experience. It was healing and empowering. I have uploaded a PDF version HERE if you want to read it. {It's a little on the long side} ;)

Elder Nelson says, “Saints can be happy under every circumstance. We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year! My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

Oh how this JOY has changed my life!!